Hello Neighbor!

I’m currently in the process of moving to a new apartment.  I imagined my downstairs neighbor would be a hunk.  Side note:  I’m not boy crazy; I haven’t had sex for 2 months.  Back to business.  I was imagining he would be a 6’6” muscular man with two big dogs who likes to go to his cabin and fix faucets and what not with his bare hands.  I thought he was going to have ripply muscles and thick hair.  He could look like Shemar Moore or Mark Walberg.  Either way, he’d be beautiful helping me carry heavy furniture up my stairs.  But instead he is a fat ginger.  Nothing wrong with being fat, I am just really into a healthy lifestyle.  And nothing wrong with being a red head, he just happens to be a red head.  It’s more the weight issue that I have a problem with.  Turns out, my OTHER neighbor, who lives in the house next door, is the Mark-Walberg-landscaping-muscular-naturally-tanned-with-rough-hands-sexy man.  And of course I met his girlfriend.  And she isn’t even that cute.  Man!  I think I cursed under my breath when I met him.  He was poop scooping after his old dog, Chili had gone to the bathroom in my back yard.  He could go 50 times a day as long as I get to see “Samuel” out there every time.  We shook hands and chatted about dogs and his job and my classes and then his lady friend pulled up and handed me a bag of cucumbers so I couldn’t be too mad.  She works on a farm and has too many cucumbers to deal with.  It always sucks when you want to be annoyed by someone’s presence but then they hand you something as obscure and great as cucumbers.